Bringing up the idea of hotwifing can be a very frightening and possibly relationship ending ordeal, if not done properly, at the right time of a couple’s relationship, or without a lot of forethought and planning. You want to enhance your sexual relationship with your partner, not end it or introduce mistrust into the relationship.
I’ll be giving you some ideas about how to introduce the idea of hotwifing to your partner that hopefully will spark your own ideas on how best to bring up the subject of the hotwife lifestyle with your partner.
I’ll list some ideas the man can use to bring up the idea of hotwifing to his wife, and ideas the woman can use to bring up the idea of her becoming a hotwife with her husband.
Let’s start with a quick word about relationship stability before we get into the ins and outs of setting the stage, planting the seed, bringing up the initial idea of hotwifing, and actually proposing the idea to your spouse. I’ll also go over alternative ways to bring up the idea of hotwifing, as well as what to do if they show interest in the hotwife lifestyle.
Now, on with a few words about relationship stability.
A Word About Relationship Stability First
Before you even think about bringing up the idea of hotwifing, you need to be absolutely certain that your relationship is stable and strong. If either of you are the jealous type, the hotwife lifestyle is not for you.
Both of you need to be very open-minded, not have any real insecurities about each other, and you both need to fully trust each other. You need to have a very solid relationship and enjoy seeing each other sexually happy.
If the two of you have compersion for each other, all the better.
If your relationship is not extremely strong, you should work on that first, before moving on to the possibility of entering the hotwife lifestyle.
Preset the Stage Ahead of Time About the Idea of Hotwifing
It’s usually best to preset the stage way ahead of time before bringing up the idea of hotwifing. You want to plant the seed about the hotwife lifestyle in a subtle way. This way, if there is any push back even on the subject, you can back off the subject and regroup.
Let’s first look at some ideas about how the woman can plant the seed in her husband’s mind about the hotwife lifestyle.
While relaxing in the evening, go take a nice relaxing bath and read an erotic book. Or at least pretend to be reading one. Once you are all relaxed, and hopefully very horny, walk out to where your husband is wearing just a towel. When you get within his sight, tell you were reading a book while soaking in the tub and that it made you extremely horny. Flirt with him and drop the towel. Tell him that he is about to get really lucky. Climb onto his lap and start kissing him.
Once you have him nice and horny, tell him you just read an erotic book about a hotwife that was flirting with a few guys at a bar while her husband was watching. Tell him for some reason that really turned you on.
While having sex with your husband, keep bringing up little things about the so called hotwife story you just read. If he seems to be getting excited about what you are telling him, ask him in a very playful way the following question.
I got a really crazy idea. Want to go to a bar sometime and pretend we are single? I’ll then go flirt with some guys while you watch. Then we can go home together and have some wild sex. You up for getting a little crazy?
Another way you can plant a seed is to tell your husband if he lets you know who is on his laminate list, you will tell him who is on yours. If you don’t already know, a laminate list is a list of people you would love to have sex with if your spouse approved.
Make this initial planting of the hotwife seed very playful and seductive. If he responds well, keep planting additional seeds until you feel the time is right to bring up the initial idea of you becoming a hotwife.
If he reacts badly, back off, and try again a little further down the road when he may be more open to the idea of hotwifing.
Now, let’s first look at some ideas about how the man can plant the seed in his wife’s mind about the hotwife lifestyle.
While out with your wife ask her to point out guys that sexually turn her on. Make a little game of it. Tease her a little if she feels awkward pointing out the guys. Make it fun for her. If she does start pointing them out, make comments about them. Like, I bet you would be all over him if you had the chance. He’s a hot guy. Make her feel comfortable sharing something like this with you. This would be a great little game to play when out having drinks.
Look at her, smile and say, you know, it really turns me on when I see someone flirting with you. Not sure why, but it does. I love the way you smile or get a little nervous when a stranger makes a pass at you.
If she responds well to that, tell her you have an idea that could be really fun for both of you. Tell her you would love to watch her get flirted with by a few guys, and then the two of you go home and ravish each other in bed. If she seems to be OK with the idea, take her out to a bar and each of you pretend not to know each other. You watch her flirt and be flirted with from a distance. Then go home and give her very passionate sex. Make sure she knows how much it turned you on watching her.
You could even dare her to flirt with a guy while you watched. Her prize would be you making dinner. Or giving her a really good massage. Make it fun for her and make the prizes something she would really love.
Find an all-male strip show and tell her she should get her girlfriends together and go see it. Then, after when she comes home you will ravish her body while she is all fired up and horny from watching the hot guys strip.
Even if she does not go, you have at least planted the seed in her mind that you don’t have a problem with her looking and lusting after other guys, or getting sexually turned on by just looking.
Make this initial planting of the hotwife seed very playful and seductive. If she responds well, keep planting additional seeds until you feel the time is right to bring up the initial idea of her becoming a hotwife.
If she reacts badly, back off, and try again a little further down the road when she may be more open to the idea of hotwifing.
Let’s look at actually bringing up the idea of hotwifing next.
Bringing up the Initial Idea of Hotwifing
Be very careful with this step. If the seeds of hotwifing have not taken root, you could end up in trouble with your spouse. So, tread slowly and cautiously. Here are some ideas on how to bring up the initial idea of hotwifing. Hopefully they will spark ideas that would be best suitable for bringing up the idea of hotwifing with your spouse.
You could introduce these ideas slowly and as a fantasy or a dream. You could even bring them up in a joking manner so you could quickly bail if things don’t go well. Remember, at this stage you are just testing the ice. Not proposing the idea of hotwifing just yet. With this step you are only trying to get your partner comfortable or at least thinking about her having sex with another man. This may be easier by getting your spouse interested in MFM threesomes first in a more hotwife vixen stag relationship.
Even if you are not wanting a hotwife vixen stag relationship, and only want a traditional hotwife relationship, this section may still be of benefit to you.
Let’s start with some ideas the woman can use to bring up the initial idea of hotwifing with her husband.
During sexual foreplay, bring up that you read an erotic book about a woman that was a hotwife that really turned you on. The part that really turned me on was the wild and intense sex scene when her husband reclaimed her. Follow this up with telling your husband that her husband must really trust her. See if this sparks a conversation about hotwifing. It may at least get him to ask what a hotwife is, or what reclaiming sex is.
While the two of you are having sex, tell your husband that you wished he had two cocks because you want to suck on him while he is fucking the hell out of you. Wait for his response.
You could continue and tell him while he is fucking you that on occasion you get a strong urge to suck on his cock while you are cumming. Or vice versa. See how he responds to that.
If all goes well, continue with joking around that he needs to grow a second cock, so you don’t get so conflicted when you crave wanting to suck on him while he is fucking you. Then tell him in a joking way that it might be really fun being spit roasted. This may at least get him to ask what you mean by being spit roasted. If you are not familiar with that term, it’s when a woman sucks on one man’s cock while being fucked by another man’s cock.
At least now you have him thinking about you being fucked by two men at the same time.
Now, let’s start with some ideas the man can use to bring up the initial idea of hotwifing with his wife. Or at least get her thinking about the sexual possibilities.
While the two of you are having sex, first get her close to orgasming as you can and then bring her all the way. After she cums, it’s time for you to cum. Really pound her hard or whatever way she loves, as you cum. Then while the two of you are holding each other recovering, say something like, right when I came, an image of you sucking on a cock popped into my head. WOW did that turn me on. Not sure why, but it did. That was hot. Give her time to respond and see what she says.
Another way would be to tell her during foreplay that you had a strange dream or was fantasizing about watching her sucking on a cock while you were fucking her from behind. It made me start to cum immediately, it was just so hot. See how she responds to that.
Tell her that you read an article about compersion. And started thinking how much I love seeing you happy and really enjoying yourself. And, that you feel that you must feel a lot of compersion towards her. If she responds well to that, continue. I even had a dream or fantasized about watching you really enjoy having sex with two men at the same time and felt so good inside just knowing you were really having a great time. See how she reacts.
Now that the initial idea of hotwifing has been brought up in a vixen stag scenario, and everything has gone well to this point, it may be time to propose the actual idea of hotwifing with your spouse.
Let’s explore proposing the idea of hotwfing next.
Proposing the Actual Idea of Hotwifing
Now is the time to tread even more carefully. You want the end result to benefit you both, not cause problems for your relationship. Let me ask you a quick question before we proceed. Are you 100% positive the two of you have a strong and open-minded relationship?
It may be best to take the hotwife vixen stag approach first, and then the more traditional hotwife lifestyle approach after that if desired. You know your spouse best. So, pick the approach you feel will work best for the two of you. It may even be better to ramp up proposing the idea of hotwifing over time. Just bring it up a little more, and a little more, over time.
Build on how you have previously set the stage, planted the seed, and brought up the initial idea of hotwifing.
Let’s take a look at some ideas the woman can use to propose the idea of hotwifing with the husband. Then we’ll look at the opposite where the man proposes the idea of hotwifing to the wife.
Start joking a little with your husband. Bring the joking towards the sexual side. Then ask him when he plans to grow that second cock. Don’t let him have time to answer, just continue. If it’s not soon, I guess we are going to have to find another guy so I can have my two cocks at once. Continue to joke around and rib him a bit. See where the conversation goes.
While having foreplay, tell him that he needs more hands. Then tell him all the things you want him to do to you, but all at the same time. See how that conversation goes.
If conversation does start about threesomes or hotwifing, you could interject that you know the two of you have been joking around about it. But do you want to try a threesome or hotwifing? I’m open to it if you are.
If the conversation starts up about hotwifing, you could always discuss the different forms and degrees of hotwifing to continue the conversation.
Let’s now take a look at some ideas the man can use to propose the idea of hotwifing with the wife.
As a man you could simply tell your wife about a fantasy you have had. Of course, that fantasy is about seeing her with another man and then the two of them having wild sex once she returned home.
Another fantasy you could tell her about is the MFM threesome fantasy. That how it would really turn you on by sucking him while she is being fucked by a really hot guy.
These types of fantasies need to be brought up little by little. If she shows any interest or curiosity, go into more detail about the fantasy while insuring her that you don’t have a problem with her having sex with another man.
You could also encourage her to go out with her girlfriends, or even alone, to just have fun flirting with guys and acting like she is single. But that you would want to hear all about her outing when she got home. Of course, this should lead to some very passionate sex.
If everything is going well, and she is responding with curiosity or interest, keep the conversation going by asking her if she would like to try a MFM threesome or hotwifing. Give her time to process this and respond.
Another way to propose a vixen stag experience is to ask her what she thinks about having two guys at the same time? Do you think it would be fun to have two cocks and two guys giving you a lot of attention? Again, give her time to process what you said and respond.
If everything is going well, you could suggest that the two of you start researching the hotwife lifestyle together.
This next method could be thought of as a trap or being set up. But could work very well for proposing the idea of hotwifing to the man or the woman. If you know a couple that is into vixen stag or traditional hotwifing, invite them over for dinner and drinks.
Talk to them before about how you are wanting to propose the idea of hotwifing to your spouse. Get them to bring up that they are a hotwife lifestyle couple and talk about what the lifestyle has done for both of them.
Have them bring it up very slowly, or as a you are not going to believe this confession.
You could also play a game with the couple that gets everyone talking about wild things they have done.
One last method is to get either the guy to put the idea of hotwifing in the husband’s head during guy talk, or the woman to put the idea in the wife’s head during girl talk. You could get your spouse to go out with the spouse of the couple for drinks. A guy’s night out, or a girl’s night out. Then let them plant ideas about hotwifing then.
Alternative Approach to Bringing up the Idea of Hotwifing
I’m only going to touch on this alternative approach to bringing up the idea of hotwifing with your spouse. The alternative being to try the swinger lifestyle first.
Jumping directly into the hotwife lifestyle may be too intense for you or your spouse. She may not be anywhere ready to have sex with another man, or he may not be anywhere ready for his wife to have sex with another man.
If this sounds like your situation, you may find it easier to try the swinger lifestyle first. This way you are both having sex with different people other than your partner. This may be easier too emotionally except for both of you. It’s more of a team effort.
If you want to explore the swinger lifestyle, check out our sister magazine Swingers Adventures Magazine.
Once the two of you have explored the swinger lifestyle and are ready for something more emotionally intense, you can revisit the hotwife lifestyle.
Bringing up the Idea of Hotwifing if You Two Are Already Swingers
If the two of you are already swingers and have been for some time, the two of you may already be craving additional recreational sex dynamics to add even more sexual excitement to your relationship. Of course, that being the hotwife lifestyle. If this is the case, bringing up the idea of hotwifing should be easy.
If you are already seasoned swingers, you should be able to just bring it up without needing to test the waters. Simply ask your spouse what they think of hotwifing and if they feel it may be something to explore.
If Your Partner Shows Any Interest in the Hotwife Lifestyle
If your partner does show any interest in the hotwife lifestyle, it’s time for the two of you to really explore hotwifing. Do this together as a team. You both need to be involved to make it work and to make it a very enjoyable experience for the two of you.
I would start out by exploring the different types and degrees of hotwifing. You can start by reading the following article together. This article will help the two of you to choose what type of hotwifing you want to try, and to what degree.
The Different Types and Degrees of Hotwifing
Other things I would recommend discussing with your spouse are jealousy, boundaries, what you both want to get out of the lifestyle, etc. The more openly the two of you talk about your sexual wants and desires, the better your experience with the hotwife lifestyle will be.
