Are you intrigued about the hotwife lifestyle, but a little scared, nervous, or just not 100% sure it’s right for the two of you? Not quite ready to jump into hotwifing full speed ahead?
Why not consider easing into hotwifing one little step at a time. Ease in slowly and test the water of the hotwife lifestyle without fully committing just yet. Easing into the hotwife lifestyle slowly can be a lot less stressful, and a lot more enjoyable. Enjoy both the journey and the destination.
Move at a pace that’s comfortable for you and your partner. If easing into the hotwife lifestyle sounds better to you, then let’s move on with your very first step at becoming a hotwife and living the hotwife lifestyle to its fullest.
Start With Educating Yourself About the Hotwife Lifestyle
Do not skip this important step when easing into or testing out the hotwife lifestyle. It’s extremely important for you and your spouse to fully understand what the hotwife lifestyle is about. It’s also very important to understand all of the variations and degrees of the hotwife lifestyle. It’s even more important to understand what the hotwife lifestyle is not.
Start your journey by researching the hotwife lifestyle by reading as much as you can about it. Just stay away from hotwife porn. Almost all of it is actually cuckold porn. The cuckold lifestyle is not the hotwife lifestyle. But the hotwife lifestyle can include cuckolding. Hope that did not confuse you. Read up on both lifestyles and I’m sure you will quickly see the differences between the two lifestyles.
At this point the two of you may benefit from researching your fantasies about the hotwife lifestyle and your motivations for wanting to possibly start living the hotwife lifestyle.
Personally, I would also recommend researching the swinger lifestyle also. Many couples that hear about the hotwife lifestyle would be better off being in the swinger lifestyle. Both the hotwife and swinger lifestyles do have some overlap. So, research the swinger lifestyle just in case you find it a better fit for both of you while you are testing out the hotwife lifestyle.
After the two of you have researched the hotwife lifestyle, the next step would be to sit down and have an open discussion with your partner. Ready to move on to the next step?
Time for an Open Discussion With Your Partner About Hotwifing
Now would be the best time to have an honest and open discussion with your partner about what each of you want to get out of the lifestyle, along with discussing expectations, actual desires, concerns, and anything else that pops in either of your heads about hotwifing before you jump in and actually start testing and experimenting with hotwifing.
Here are several conversations the two of you should have. This is not an all-inclusive list and should be built on to cover any other topics about hotwifing the two of you come up with. The main point of these discussions is that they must be open and 100% honest. You need to lay everything on the table so neither of you will regret any of the decisions you will be making together. The two of you need to be 100% on the same page. You want to enhance your relationship, not destroy it.
Discuss any fantasies either of you have about the hotwife lifestyle.
Why do you want to ease into or test out the hotwife lifestyle?
Will the two of you have any boundaries or rules concerning hotwifing?
What do each of you expect to get out of the hotwife lifestyle?
How will the two of you handle any unexpected jealousy or envy?
What about safety? How will the two of you keep the hotwife safe?
After comparing each of your desires and expectations, ask yourself the following question. Answer it honestly. Would the swinger lifestyle fulfill our desires better than the hotwife lifestyle? Or would a combination of the two lifestyles be a better fit for the two of you?
If you decide that the hotwife lifestyle is something you want to explore and test out, let’s move on and start actually easing into hotwifing.
Fantasizing About and Role-Playing the Hotwife Lifestyle
If either of you is not 100% sure you want to actually experience the hotwife lifestyle, you should consider fantasizing together about hotwifing and role-playing that she is an actual hotwife. These techniques can help the two of you to decide if you actually want to take it further and start experiencing a little bit of the hotwife lifestyle.
You could incorporate different hotwife scenarios in a little dirty talk with each other during foreplay or while having sex.
You could role-play different hotwife scenarios together at home or even while out bar hopping, staying at a motel, out to dinner, etc.
Use your fantasies and role-playing to help the two of you gauge your current comfort levels concerning hotwifing.
If both of you are ready and feel comfortable about actual encounters and interactions with strangers while exploring or testing the hotwife lifestyle, it’s time to do more trust building and even intimacy with your partner before you make the final leap toward actual hotwifing.
Build Even More Trust and Intimacy With Your Partner Before Actually Hotwifing
Before the two of you actually start hotwifing, you need to build your trust and emotional intimacy as high as you can. The more trust you have for each other, and the more emotionally intimate the two of you are with each other, the higher chance you will have actually benefiting and enjoying the hotwife lifestyle.
In order for the hotwife lifestyle to be a success for both of you, the two of you must fully trust each other. If either of you do not fully trust each other, I would not recommend venturing into the hotwife lifestyle until you do.
If your relationship is not already very intimate, I would recommend working on your intimacy first. Your current relationship needs to be on solid ground first.
Have the two of you discussed and worked out any insecurities, concerns, etc.? If not, go back and work through them first.
So, if both of you are still ready to either ease into the hotwife lifestyle, or at least test it out a little, it’s time to do something that many new couples totally forget to do before you have any interactions, sexual or not, with strangers.
Create a Hotwife Emergency Sex Kit
This should be the very first step you take before the hotwife actually goes out to interact with strangers, goes on dates, or even just goes out with the girls, or bar hopping alone. To some this may sound like an unneeded step. But imagine if the hotwife is out and about and just happens to have a really hot guy start flirting with her. She may not even be out looking for a bull to have sex with. But the flirting ends up with her wanting to have sex with him. Don’t you want her to be prepared if, by chance, she stumbles unexpectedly into a situation she wants to take further? Better to be prepared than sorry.
Put together a small emergency sex kit that she can carry in her purse or pocket. Make sure it contains condoms and lube. Personally, I would recommend carrying regular size condoms, large condoms, and a packet of condom safe lube. You can simply put these items in a small plastic baggy.
If you are serious about hotwifing it would be best if she carried this little emergency sex kit at all times. You never know when you could run into an interaction that you want to take a lot further.
Carrying this emergency sex kit also can help her to realize she is a hotwife and can have sexual interactions with strangers whenever she wants without her partner worrying that she does not have protection or is not prepared.
Be prepared to take a simple wink from a hot guy all the way. Even if you are just out shopping and have zero intentions of going home or to a hotel with a guy, you know you are prepared and could do so if you desired.
Don’t count on or expect the guy to have condoms. Take responsibility and make sure you do. It’s your body, protect it.
Have your emergency sex kit put together? Have it on you? Great! Let’s actually leave the house and ease a little further into the hotwife lifestyle.
Time to Flirt and Possibly Have Some Mild Hotwife Interactions
This step may be one of the scariest and most nerve-racking steps a new hotwife can make. Especially if she has been married for a while and has been out of the dating scene. It can be even a lot scarier than actually having sex with someone besides her husband. This is pretty much a make-or-break step towards being a hotwife. So, if needed, take this step slowly. This step can actually be a lot of fun and a big ego boost for the hotwife-to-be.
This step is all about getting used to actually flirting with possible sexual partners besides your husband. You need to start acting like you are single, even when you are out with your husband. The more relaxed and the more fun you have flirting, the more fun you will have actually being a hotwife.
Let’s look at several scenarios where you could practice flirting. Some will be while you are out alone, and others will be when you are out with your husband. Make sure you have that emergency sex kit we talked about earlier with you while out flirting and having some mild hotwife interactions.
A simple way to practice flirting is with a captive crowd. Let me explain. Cashiers and salesmen usually won’t blow you off or ignore you. They are doing a job that does require a little interaction with customers or perspective customers. So, go out window shopping alone or with your husband. When interacting with a cashier or salesman, lightly flirt with them. Give them little compliments, smile, wink, or even bite your bottom lip and look them up and down if you are brave enough. Don’t miss a chance when out doing your regular shopping to flirt.
You could even do a little harmless flirting with customers. Ask someone what they think about something. Flirt a little with them. Once you are brave enough, you could even ask someone what they think would look better on you and show them two sexy outfits or even thongs. Just have fun with it.
Go out and pretend to shop for a new car. Wear something sexy and better yet very short. Now, go to a car dealer and test drive a car. Make sure the salesman rides along and you accidentally let your skirt ride up to expose the sexy thong you have on. Act a little embarrassed and apologize for the accidental flash. Now ramp the flirting up a little while you finish the test drive.
If you live near a park or beach, they are both excellent places to practice flirting. Just go for a walk and casually flirt with guys you find attractive as you walk by them. Smiles, winks, biting the bottom lip, or simply saying hi, work well. If someone stops and talks to you, turn up the flirting a bit.
If you are at a beach practicing flirting, wearing a skimpy bikini can help get a guy’s attention fast. You could even try a little sunbathing and ask a guy walking by if he would mind putting some lotion on your back, so you don’t burn. Chat with him while he is applying the lotion. You could even moan out very lightly while he is rubbing the lotion in from time to time.
If you have a community swimming pool, put on a tiny bikini and go sunbathe by the pool. Wink, smile, and say hi to any guy walking by you. You could also use the flirting technique we mentioned before about getting someone to apply suntan lotion to your back.
Another great flirting idea you could use at a pool is to pretend that you are trying to learn to swim, and ask if someone, aka a hot guy, would help you learn. Of course, he would need to hold you up while you practice swim strokes. Then just ramp up the flirting a little.
Live near a museum or is an art festival being held close to you? These are great places to practice a little flirting. Especially while viewing the little more risqué art pieces.
When you are putting gas in your car, practice a little flirting with the gas station attendant. If you have a full-service station near you, you could do the accidental flashing we looked at while flirting with car salesmen. If you are pumping your own gas, you could even bend over a little to show off the back of your thighs and possibley a little butt cheek to any guys you see at the gas station. Just use your imagination.
Coffee shops are great places to flirt. Sit down at a table next to a hot guy. You could then do some harmless flirting with him. Not sure how to start? See what he is drinking or eating and ask him about it. If he is on a laptop, ask him if he is writing the next 50 Shades of Gray novel. That should get a response out of him.
Since people seem to frequent the same coffee shop about the same time over and over, they make a great place to flirt with guys you have already flirted with in the past.
Simply go out for a walk in a downtown area. Stop any hot guy and ask him where something is or for directions. While the two of you chat, go ahead and flirt with him a little. This works extra well if the place you are asking directions to is right across the street or you are standing in front of it. You can act all innocent and embarrassed. Asking for directions along with a little flirting could lead to him asking if you would like to get a cup of coffee or a drink.
Whenever you are out eating at a restaurant alone or with your husband, do a little harmless flirting with the waiter. Or possibly a guy at the next table.
Out at a bar with your husband? Do some flirting with the bartender. You could even walk around the bar alone and do some flirting with any hot guys you see. This is a great way to practice flirting because your husband is always close by so you can return back to him anytime you choose. He can be your safety net.
Walking home from work? Peek in any bars or restaurants that are having happy hours. If you see a seat at the bar empty by a hot guy, go in and sit down. Flirt a little with him as you have a quick drink.
Use the above scenarios to come up with your own. Bottom line, flirt whenever you can. Especially when you are out in public. You never know, you may end up being invited for a coffee or a drink. You could even get a hot guys number or business card. Just keep the flirting and interactions light and mild until you are comfortable and ready to take things a little further in your hotwife adventure.
Once you are fairly comfortable with flirting and mild hotwife interactions with strangers, it’s time to move on to the next step that will help ease you further into the hotwife lifestyle.
The Next Step in Your Hotwife Adventure Is to Go out Solo Bar Hopping
This next step will most likely be a scary one for many women just starting to explore the hotwife lifestyle. Especially if they have been married for a considerable amount of time or have been out of the dating and bar hopping scene for a while. But it’s an extremely important step to take when easing into or just testing out hotwifing.
The idea is for you to go out bar hopping alone and pretend you are a single woman out looking to have fun. If you don’t drink, you can always drink a nonalcoholic beverage.
When you head out bar hopping you want to dress extremely sexy and show off as much skin as you are comfortable with. You want to draw the attention of guys when you walk in the bar or nightclub. Now just have fun flirting and meeting hot guys. Maybe even do a little dancing. If a slow song comes on and you are asked to dance, even better.
Want to take this one step further? Get a hotel room at a hotel that is frequented by business travelers and has a bar. Enjoy relaxing in the room and then go down to the hotel bar and start flirting. If you get a little overwhelmed, you can always go back to your hotel room for a while. Then return to the bar for a little more flirting. In a hotel bar your interactions could easily lead to you going to a guy’s room or him coming to yours. So, if you are not ready for a full on hotwife experience, just be prepared to politely turn down his sexual advances and offer.
At this step in easing into becoming a hotwife, you may want to take things a little further than flirting. You could have mild sexual actions with a stranger. Kissing, skin caressing, or even a little groping. It’s up to you to take it as far as you are comfortable with.
So, you made it this far and have decided that you want to take things a little further but need a little coaxing and support to overcome your nerves. Let’s look at exploring the hotwife lifestyle online.
Explore the Hotwife Lifestyle Online
Let’s look at some different ways you can ease into becoming a hotwife by hopping online. You could join and setup profiles on different alternative lifestyle, swinger, hotwife, and dating sites. Find a few that you like and create a single woman profile. Fill out your profile and say exactly what you are looking for in a sexual partner. Upload several pictures of yourself that are cute and sexy. If you have the nerve, you can even upload pictures of you nude and even having sex.
Once your profile is complete, start browsing the single male profiles and sending messages to the ones that you find hot and could possibly enjoy going on a date with. Most likely your inbox is going to be full of single guys contacting you first. Sadly, the majority are going to be total rejects. Note the ones that stand out and message them back.
Visit the chat rooms on these websites and join in. Some even have video chat. The idea is to get used to chatting with a lot of horny single guys all wanting your sexual attention.
When you find a few guys that actually seem like they could be prospective bulls, trade more pictures with them if you want. You could even have cybersex with a few guys over video chat to get a little more comfortable with being very open with your sexuality.
Let me be up front with you for a minute. Online dating sites are not the best way to meet single guys. Most will end up flaking out on you if you set up a date. Don’t worry though. We’ll cover better ways to actually meet prospective bulls shortly.
Now that you have your feet wet chatting in a sexual manner with several horny guys, let’s move on. Are you ready for some fun? Let’s explore beginner hotwife dares, challenges, and activities designed to help you ease further into the hotwife lifestyle while having fun.
Experiment With Beginner Hotwife Dares, Challenges, and Activities
Hotwife dares, challenges, and activities come in all levels of hotwifing. They range from simple beginner varieties to hardcore hotwife activities. You can start out at the level you feel comfortable with and work your way up as hardcore as you want.
Hotwife dares, challenges, and activities are usually designed to help a woman get comfortable with her sexuality and becoming a true hotwife. These do require a supportive husband that is willing to encourage your hotwifing and willing to help you overcome any shyness or nerves you may have. Make a game of this step. Have fun with it. If one does not sound fun to you even a little, pass it up and find another that does.
Let’s look at a several hotwife dares, challenges, and activities designed for beginners just starting to ease into the hotwife lifestyle.
While out with your husband, point out guys that sexually attract you that you would not mind fucking. Tell your husband what attracted you to the guy in as much detail as possible. You could do this while just out walking, while dining at a restaurant, while out having drinks at a bar, or even out shopping. You could even make this an ongoing activity.
This one works best at a coffee shop, or bar, but could be done anywhere. When you see a guy that sexually excites you, catch his eye and hold your stare until he either looks away, or he approaches you. Smile, or if you are daring, bite your lower lip while maintaining eye contact.
Put on a very short skirt and go play pool at a local bar. Act like you are trying to not flash people while making shots. But occasionally forget to pull down your skirt. If you see someone that noticed you accidentally flashing them, act a little embarrassed.
Go to a busy lingerie shop and model lingerie for your husband. Just make sure other men are nearby that can see you dressed in very provocative lingerie.
Go shopping alone for a very short skirt. Find a guy and ask him if you could ask him his opinion. When he says OK, hold the tiny skirt up to you and ask him if he thinks it’s too short.
Insert or put on a remote-control sex toy. Now go shopping or to a bar with your husband. Give your husband the remote control for the sex toy. Just have fun around strangers with this one.
Now that you have had some fun with beginner hotwife dares, challenges, activities, and hopefully embraced the lifestyle a little more, let’s move on to attending hotwife/swinger clubs and events.
Attend a Hotwife / Swinger Club or Event
It’s time to take a big step much further into the hotwife lifestyle. Find a hotwife or swinger club near you. Make sure it is an on-premise club. An on-premise club has actual play areas and allows sex in the club. You could also look for a lifestyle event near you that is being held in a hotel. You will usually see these advertised as hotel takeovers. You will be going to the club or event you choose just to observe. Take the need to having an actual hotwife experience off the table. Don’t put any unneeded pressure on yourself.
Once you have selected a club or event to attend, dress up extremely sexy. You want to draw as much sexual attention as you can. Show a lot of skin if possible. Have your husband dress up in nice dress pants, and a nice button-down shirt. He could even wear a tie. The idea is that the two of you need to be noticed when you enter the club or event.
If the club or event offers tours or orientations, make sure you take it as a couple. If they serve dinner, enjoy a sit-down dinner together. Walk around the club or event frequently. Make sure you socialize a little as a couple.
Now it’s time to turn up the heat a little. The woman should walk around the club or event alone for at least 30 minutes. Just smile at guys or couples you are attracted to. If they say something, stop and socialize a little. Make sure you flirt a little. Nothing serious at this time, just a little harmless flirting. Once you feel comfortable socializing and flirting, go back to your husband.
This next step is going to be a big one. Both of you go to the changing room and change out of your street clothes into a towel. She could change into sexy lingerie if the club permits it. Now head to the playrooms and walk around. As the night goes on, the sex rooms will fill up more and more. Go watch other couples having sex, watch any orgies or gangbangs that are going on. She should also smile and flirt with any men she sees that she is sexually attracted to.
This next step is optional but can help her to be around a lot of other people having sex and watching her have sex. Go to a group room that has several couples having sex and find a spot in the room and sit down. Watch for a bit, and then find a spot on a mattress or couch and the two of you have sex with each other. You will most likely get several offers to join the two of you, but don’t hesitate to tell them no thank you.
After the two of you have had sex in front of others, return to the locker room and change back into your street clothes. Then go back into the main area and possibly dance a little. When you do sit down, make sure you are approachable. If someone comes up and says hi, feel free to chat with them a little.
While in the club or at the event, if a guy asks her to dance, I would highly recommend that she does. This is a great way to get in a little practice with a total stranger. Lightly flirt with him. Just don’t commit to sex. This will also give you a little practice saying no thank you. Maybe another time. If you are sexually attracted to the guy, don’t hesitate to write down his phone number if he offers it. It may come in handy in the near future.
The big thing here is to have fun and get comfortable being in a high energy sexual place. The more comfortable you are around sex, the more exciting hotwifing will be for you.
Now that you have seen what goes on in a sex club, and hopefully felt comfortable while attending it, let’s move on and actually get her to have a physical hotwife experience. Don’t chicken out now. You have come so far already.
It’s Time to Ease Into Actual Physical Hotwife Experiences
Are you ready for an actual hotwife experience? Are you both ready for her to take the next big step in her becoming a hotwife? This step will bring her closer to pure hotwifing by letting her gradually experience physical sexual experiences with male strangers. This is a big step, but a fun one.
Let’s look at possible scenarios the budding hotwife can do from the least sexual contact to the most sexual contact. Once she works through these scenarios, she should be ready for the final step. That being becoming a true hotwife and have her first true full hotwife experience.
Go out bar hopping alone. If you still need to feel a little more secure, have your husband go to the same bar as if he does not know you. He’ll most likely enjoy watching you from afar. Once at the bar, play like you are single. Mingle, flirt, dance, etc. All the normal things you would do at a bar or nightclub as a single woman out looking to have a good time.
When flirting with a guy don’t reject any passes he makes at you. Get used to guys touching you and making sexual passes. If he tries to kiss you, let him. If he touches your butt, let him. Just continue to flirt with him. If you feel bold, you could even make a pass at a hot guy. If a guy tries to get you to go home with him, you can always tell him you already have plans for tonight but maybe another night. Exchange numbers with him.
Try to flirt with several guys at the bar and come away with several telephone numbers. If you are ready, you could even find a dark place in the bar and make out with a guy while letting yours and his hands wander all over each other’s body.
So, you survived and actually had some nervous fun at the bar, it’s time to take things even a little further. Actually, call one of the guys you got a number from and see if he would like to take you to dinner or a movie. Go out on a good old-fashioned date with a guy you are sexually attracted to. Take things as far as you are comfortable with. Just in case you get the nerve up to have a full on hotwife experience while out on a date, go for it. You do have your emergency sex kit with you, right? If you are not ready, simply end the date with some kissing or fooling around. Don’t let any guy pressure you into sex until you are 100% ready.
You ready to ramp things up a lot? When dating a guy, make sure he understands that you are married but in an open relationship and that your husband does know you are out on a date with another man. If he does not bolt, and the date goes well, propose the idea of him coming home with you to meet your husband. And, if the two of them get along we could possibly have a threesome. If he goes for it, call your husband and let him know you are on the way home with your date.
Have you had a few threesomes? If so, you should be ready for solo sex with a stranger, but with a twist. You could bring your date home, or go to a hotel room, to have sex with him. Now here is the twist. You let your date know he can have sex with you if he has no problem with your husband watching. If he is good with that, all three of you should meet at a hotel, or your home. You and your date can then have sex while your husband stays out of the way but watches.
Another option you could to is to go to a swingers club and do a soft swap with another couple. A soft swap is where you do everything but penial vaginal intercourse. This could help you get a lot more comfortable receiving and giving sexual pleasure with someone that is a stranger.
A swingers club is also a great place to meet single guys for threesomes or one on one sex with your husband watching.
If you made it this far, you may just be ready for the final step in becoming a true hotwife. Are you ready? Let’s move on.
It’s Time to Actually Have Your First Full Hotwife Experience
Are you ready to take the last step in becoming a true hotwife? If you have come this far, why not? Your goal to be a hotwife is now in sight. All you have to do is take the final step.
It’s time to select a suitable bull and have him take you out on a date that ends with the two of you having sex at his place or at a hotel. Do not forget your emergency sex kit. Now go have a fun and exciting date with a man that is not your husband.
Once you return home from your date and hopefully an exciting and fulfilling sexual experience, it’s time to debrief. Tell your husband about your date in as much detail as possible. Then discuss what you liked and did not like with your husband. Also discuss any concerns either of you have or had. The idea is to keep your husband actively involved in your chosen lifestyle and keep him wanting to encourage you.
Most likely your husband will want to reclaim you when you return home. Let him, and just enjoy the passion and great sex the two of you have. Reclaiming sex can get very heated, passionate, and sometimes rough. Be prepared and just enjoy him reclaiming you as his wife.
Some Final Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed your journey into the hotwife lifestyle. It’s very important to have ongoing communication between you and your partner. You may find that you need to adjust any rules or boundaries you initially set over time. Circumstances, desires, and emotions do change. So, revisit your rules and boundaries on a regular basis.
The bottom line is to embrace your hotwife lifestyle at your own pace. You want to always keep it enjoyable and exciting. Always be trying new things and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone to keep the hotwife lifestyle enjoyable and something you love living.
